After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
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