Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
