goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize
