If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Shitshow foam night was such a success
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
