I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
even my farts smell like vagina
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
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