then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
