She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
