i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
she woke up with a sticky ear
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
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