I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
