then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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