She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
she peed on how many people?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
