So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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