You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
