we're blogging at a bar
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
