If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
