he wants to bone in the snuggie
he told me I talked like a deaf person
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
