Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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