yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Acid is not a monday night drug
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
