Rock
Scissors
Fuck
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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