Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
