i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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