wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
