Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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