tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
