what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
