DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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