just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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