she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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