Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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