He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
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