New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
