I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Randomize