I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Randomize
