At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
