Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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