I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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