I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize