if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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