I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
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