Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
