I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
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