I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
