She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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