you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
