I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Even my vagina gasped.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
