OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
