Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
It's no shave November. This is our time.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
