I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I think your dad took our porno
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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