Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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