I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
