I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i dont even know how to be here
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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