Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize