So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
