can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize