Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
