Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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